Diabetes and depression – How I pulled myself back to life

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, people with diabetes are 2-3 times more likely to get depression than those without – This is a piece of information that would have been useful to know before I was diagnosed with diabetes.

As a woman living with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), I was already convinced that life as I knew it was coming to an end, and then my gynaecologist told me I was pre-diabetic. Overnight, I had to make some serious changes to my lifestyle to avoid diabetes. At the time, I succeeded – Though years later, I would still be diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

However, as well as facing the challenge of adjusting my lifestyle, I also developed depression. What I didn’t realise then was that it wasn’t just a ‘phase’ or a ‘bad mood’ but actually a direct effect of the disease.

It started small – I felt hollow, didn’t want to get out of bed, had constant fatigue and insomnia, binge ate, and had brain fog.

It got bigger when I started having frightening thoughts about not wanting to be around anymore.

With no idea what was happening to me and no one to confide in (for fear of being judged), I spiralled more and more into the abyss, unable to function and at a total loss as to how to pull myself out of this web of despair.

A friend turned into my dame in shining armour when she insisted I talk to her therapist, even if only for one session. I always knew I was a hyper-self-aware person, so I was convinced that no psychologist could tell me anything about myself that I didn’t already know. Still, I decided to give it a shot because I didn’t have anything to lose (and it would appease my increasingly terrified friend) – That turned out to be the best decision I ever made, and it almost certainly saved my life.

Here’s why I don’t have clinical depression anymore:

Talk therapy is extremely underrated

Venting is good for the soul – At least, that’s what I realised after a month of seeing my therapist.

Talking about my problems, simply getting them off my chest, was immensely cathartic. It made me feel lighter and instantly better.

And after my initial reluctance to see a shrink, talking to them became the thing I looked forward to most every week. Because just talking made it super easy for me to let things go. It gave me mental clarity and reduced the brain fog I was struggling with.

Voicing my despondency also stopped me from internalising those negative feelings and emotionally constipating myself.

I could just talk in a safe environment and unburden myself – Significantly alleviating my anxiety.

Movement is your friend

Exercise can be your best friend – It helps you not only manage your diabetes but also cope with depression.

When you move, your body releases endorphins (a chemical that makes you feel good).

How much of a difference does it make? Well, I hate exercising, and I’m still recommending it! Getting in those steps and swimming once a week did wonders for my physical and mental health.

And you don’t have to go crazy in the gym or run marathons. Getting consistent movement is enough to lower your blood sugar levels and improve your mood.

Distractions can save your life

When you have depression, the last thing you want to do is work out or engage in anything that requires the slightest amount of effort.

In this situation, distractions can be a literal lifesaver.

It’s simple – When you’re distracted, you’re not thinking about how lonely you are or any of the 101 other things that are wrong with your life. Instead, you’re focused on the task at hand.

It can be anything from a part-time job to reading a good book or getting engrossed in a movie.

Just avoid being idle – It’s the breeding ground for overthinking.

Food and mood go hand in hand

Food is a huge part of my life and always has been.

However, having diabetes and depression made my relationship with food super stressful. Depression caused me to binge eat everything in sight. Which made me feel guilty and put even more stress on my diabetic body.

That’s when, on the advice of my therapist, I started a ‘Food & Mood Diary’ – A log of everything I ate and drank every day.

With this diary, I recorded everything in minute detail, being brutally honest. So even if I had a cup of tea in the evening, I noted the amount of sugar I took with it. Alongside these details, I also jotted down how my food habits made me feel that day, as well as the effect certain foods had on my mood.

It might seem like a lot of work, but trust me, it worked wonders in improving my relationship with food and helped me control my emotional eating.

Final thoughts

Falling into depression was easy and took over a good year and a half of my life.

But the minute I decided to do something about it and make changes was the start of freeing myself of the anguish and hopelessness I’d been drowning in.

The journey out of depression can often be long, especially if you’re a diabetic as well. It demands hard work and perseverance. But with these few consistent steps, I significantly improved my quality of life.

So, if you’re a diabetic struggling with depression and anxiety, know that you’re not alone. And you WILL find a way out of the darkness.