My experience with diaversaries

I remember the first time I heard the word ‘diaversary’ – I found it so odd!

I mean, the ‘-versary’ part of it makes it seem like it’s supposed to be a celebration. But is it really?

I could never get myself to celebrate my diaversary. And the first year went by so fast – I think it was mostly me figuring out how to live my life with diabetes, understanding the nuances of it (I still haven’t got the hang of some aspects), and studying for my post-graduation degree.

Here’s how some of my diaversaries have gone so far…

1^st diaversary – 18^th September 2016

My 1^st diaversary was a big deal, and my family was a huge part of this day.

I think that in the first year anyone gets diagnosed, they’ll see lots of changes in family dynamics. I remember getting flowers because I was supposed to be celebrating my strength and resilience.

People whispered positive things to me throughout the day, but I distinctly remember feeling low the entire time. I remembered texting my friend “I think I’m getting hospitalised,” the previous year. I remembered getting my blood test results, reaching the hospital, and telling my mother “I’m fine, everything will be fine,” – These moments are etched in my memory forever, and they all came flooding back on my first diaversary.

2^nd diaversary – 18^th September 2017

My 2^nd diaversary was just as emotional as the first. In fact, I think it was a little worse.

This was the day I wrote down for the very first time how this disease had actually affected me – A long essay that still lives in the notes app on my phone.

Writing has always connected me with my emotions, but goodness, my self-pity was on a roll that day!

5^th diaversary – 18^th September 2020

You know what they say about milestones? The 5^th year was quite tough.

I still distinctly remember this day because of the toll it took. My 3^rd and 4^th diaversaries in 2018 and 2019 weren’t emotionally distressing, so maybe I thought I’d got over the impact of diaversaries? – Clearly not!

Even though I was working throughout the day, as soon as I ended my last therapy session (I’m a psychologist) the realisation and weight of the day hit me like a truck.

Every year, for the last 4 years, I’d posted stories about being a ‘tough diabetic’ on Instagram. But my 5^th diaversary was a downward spiral. I remember calling one of my closest friends and telling her I needed to be distracted, and we went furniture shopping for her new house with her father.

I remember crying on her dad’s shoulder right there in the store.

That was when I realised I will probably always feel something on this day, and I can never truly be ‘okay’ regarding my diagnosis.

9^th diaversary – 18^th September 2024

My most recent diaversary!

This was my 9^th year since being diagnosed. Very strangely, the sorrow and negative thoughts crossed my mind only once. I was very aware over the days leading up to this date that 9 years would have gone by. But the day itself was not as heavy as I thought it would be.

Maybe time heals old wounds?

Or maybe I should actually acknowledge, if not celebrate, my resilience and the fact that this day doesn’t bring up strong unhealthy emotions like it used to.

Because the day went by quite ‘normally’, I ended up thinking about how my diaversary experience has changed over the years. Interestingly, none of my family and friends acknowledge the date of my diagnosis anymore. For them, it’s like any other day – Of course, I’m not unrealistic in my expectations. I’m a rational person who doesn’t demand they remember the weight this day causes me. But I do wonder if the date crosses their mind?

Final thoughts

I know 18^th September will never be a normal day for me, and that’s okay.

I also know it’s okay to feel my emotions, because we can all have bad days, and they don’t have to be date-specific! But my diaversaries have a certain impact on me, and they’re not necessarily negative.

I wonder what 18^th September 2025 will look like…