My friend’s diabetes diagnosis – From denial to defiance to acceptance

Let me tell you about my friend Kavita.

Kavita is middle-aged and lives with her mother-in-law, husband, son, and daughter-in-law. We’re pretty close, and she routinely shares with me family matters she’s struggling with, trivial issues, etc.

However, one time, something was troubling her that she kept from me for quite a while…

The start – Denial

It began when I noticed Kavita was feeling some discomfort. This went on for several weeks, but every time I asked her about it she refused to discuss the matter. Next, I noticed she was losing weight, so I asked about that as well, but this just made her irritable.

So I decided to give her some space and time.

Then one day she asked if I knew a reliable diagnostic centre. I rattled off a few well-known names I was aware of, but she dismissed all of them – She said she’d already met with them, but they were giving her faulty readings.

Faulty readings? I was confused. Faulty readings for what?

She then blurted out that her blood sugar had been high, and the doctors were claiming she had diabetes, but that wasn’t true, there was some kind of mistake somewhere.

I was aghast – My husband is a type 2 diabetic, so I instantly took this news seriously.

“Are you getting different readings from different labs?” I asked.

“They’re similar, but they’re all wrong,” she replied. Then she went on a defensive spree, explaining that no one in her family had diabetes, she cooked healthy, wholesome meals for her family, and she couldn’t possibly have diabetes.

I asked her about her sudden weight loss – She had no answer.

The journey – Defiance

A few days later, we went out shopping together.

Once done, we went to a restaurant to eat. I could see that she was tired and sweating but hid my concern. After the main course, she ordered ice cream.

I asked her if she should have dessert.

Kavita became defiant, and announced she was going to live her life the way she wanted – Medical reports and diagnoses couldn’t dictate her lifestyle!

This wasn’t her only outburst. Her defiance continued, as did her tiredness.

Then one day, after our evening walk, we sat down on a park bench so Kavita could try and catch her breath.

I comforted her and told her she needed to let it go. Diabetes has several causes, and the important thing was to accept and manage it.

Kavita gave in and decided to see her family doctor. She shared with him her resentment, anger and frustration – He listened to her calmly without any interruption and asked for her test reports.

Then he confirmed the diagnosis. She had diabetes.

He told her to go for walks twice a day, after lunch and dinner, but Kavita resisted.

“I don’t need to. I work a lot at home. I have a big family to take care of,” she retorted.

He explained that she had to manage her diabetes effectively. Being active and getting proper physical exercise was an integral part of that – Kavita grunted but agreed.

Next, he asked her to include raw fruits and vegetables in her diet. Again, she resisted.

“I have to take care of my family. Everyone has different tastes and preferences. I can’t make special efforts only for myself.”

He explained that good eating habits would benefit all of her family members. Being the main caretaker, she could introduce it easily. And he pressed the point that she couldn’t take care of anyone if she didn’t first take care of herself – This made sense to Kavita.

The destination – Acceptance

When I met Kavita a few days later, I found her depressed and unhappy.

“Now what?” I asked.

“I don’t feel like going to parties or outings. I don’t know if I’ll get the right kind of food. And if I go on vacation, will I be able to follow my exercise regimen? I have to spend the rest of my life at home now, eating only home-cooked food,” she lamented.

Again, as the wife of a type 2 diabetic, I knew she was overreacting – Diabetes is not a prison sentence!

I gave her some literature about diabetes and its care. And I told her to read stories by diabetics. As well as showing her the right path, these would help motivate and relax her.

Thankfully, she followed my advice.

It took some time, but today Kavita is happy with her routine. She’s learnt how to manage her diet and medication during a vacation. She’s fit, active, and feeling positive about herself. And all of us are happy to see our friend back to her vibrant, bubbly self.